I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize