I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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