Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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