Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Randomize
