at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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