Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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