I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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