yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
