haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Boobs are out for the taking
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize