i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
