i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
