Christians are straight up FREAKS
im about as happy as oj after his trial
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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