Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I got inside last night via doggy door
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
