please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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