apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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