i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
this will be a night to untag.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
