I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
MIDGETS
????
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
