You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize