Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
