we have pet lesbian snakes
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
The struggles of a small town man whore
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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