he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
then he tried to convert me to islam
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
