I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
