Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
