and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
