don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
