I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
