Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Farmville is her only friend.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
