My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I think your dad took our porno
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
