covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
