windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
