how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Randomize
