I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
