mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
This is the prime rib incident all over again
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
then he tried to convert me to islam
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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