I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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