he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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