So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
