Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
