Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
