The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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