just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
