Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
