yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
