Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
