your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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