Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I pour the whiskey from now on
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
