finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Randomize
