You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
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