I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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