What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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