Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm just crazy horny about you
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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