You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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