I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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