If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize