I want to walk on stilts...naked
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
