and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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