i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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