her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
