You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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