Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
