We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
